A light in the Dark

 Music.

It's the thing thats kept me sane (along with photography) for the majority of my life. I was THAT kid who didn't have many friends growing up. The ones I did have though usually stabbed me in the back at one point or another. Music especially was my getaway when my grandfather passed away in 1990.  After he had passed, I kind of ended up being detached from anything really emotional knowing that I would get fucked over at some point or another. So I delve my head, ears and heart into the arts. Music, Video Games (yes its art. I am not going to try and convince you other wise), movies, photography and books. These things were my friends. I even took a stab (unsuccessfully might I add) at writing.  I tend to over use the word fuck. What can I say. It just rolls off fucking nicely off the fingers and the tongue! But those were my outlets for any emotion.

Guns N' Roses helped me cope with the loss of my grandfather (coma), and they were also the start of me listening to heavier music. Up to this point I was listening to bands like Tom Petty, Billy Joel, Billy Ocean and Richard Marx (don't judge!) So GNR was the gateway that i needed. From there it was game on.  However some caveats were to be head.  I had a few things going against me at that point in time from a music standpoint.  MTV wasn't allowed.  I was in catholic school when i got the heavy metal bug (see where I am going with this?) and I was an altar boy at the local church.  I am really batting 100.  While this genre of music was discouraged by the school AND my parents, neither of them really were hard on the genre as a whole. But growing up in the 80s/ early 90s (i was born in 79) as issue in music was taking the country by storm....Suicide.  

I remember constantly being told (not so much from my parents although i did listen to quite a bit of stuff that pissed them off) don't listen to Judas Priest. Don't listen to AC/DC (this was The Razors Edge era) and especially don't listen to Ozzy Osbourne. These were "satanic" bands and you shouldn't listen to them. So for the longest time I didn't listen to any of them...  Ozzy was the worst offender because of the Suicide Solution song and also the fact in a drunken state he bit the head off a fucking live bat (see i like the word fuck!  Ozzy would approve..for the record). 

They called him the Prince of Darkness.

To the outside world, Ozzy Osbourne was wild, chaotic, even dangerous. But to those of us who grew up under the weight of the world and found solace in the distortion and scream—he was something else entirely. Ozzy didn’t just sing about madness, pain, and survival—he embodied it, and somehow, made it feel like you could live through your own chaos too

The whole ozzy thing though started to change when I heard Close My Eyes forever (the duet with Lita Ford). After hearing the song, i obviously didn't die. I didn't feel suicidal.  I was OK. I didn't hear much ozzy after that.  I don't remember hearing too much airplay on the local station at the time Rock 107.  his rival Alice Cooper was dominating the airwaves with his hit Poison. Which is a great song in its own right, But I still wasn't convinced that it was "safe" to listen to Ozzy.  When you hear things over and over again, especially as a kid you tend to believe it because your the kid and they are the adults. Why would an adult lie?

I had a friend, Carl. met him in 92 maybe 93. With the exception from Close my eyes. I was pretty much listening to everything. Skid Row, Pearl Jam, Warrant, Dangerous Toys, GNR, Motley Crue the list goes on.  Still no Ozzy.  Anyways , Carl was a huge classic rock guy (i'm not sure if he still is) but he was big into Black Sabbath and Allman Brothers.  Those were his big bands (keep in mind Carl was also a good 6-7 years older than I was so his music tastes were totally different from mine).  Carl was a big music guy (thats how we became friends) and i seen Black Sabbath "master of reality) sitting on his cd player. He wanted me to borrow it, i remember asking him who the singer was, and he said Ozzy. Uh oh.  So not to be rude i borrowed it like he wanted and ofcourse when i gave it back to him i gave him a line of shit saying i listened to it when i didn't (the brainwashing was real folks) So he then gave me the bark at the moon record because he didn't want it anymore. Well i didn't have a record player so it sat. I even acquired Speak of the Devil from a relative on vinyl...We already know why i didn't listen to that album. But the tide also started to change.

Ozzy was getting some major promotion for his album No More Tears.  I don't recall the song that i heard...Maybe Road to Nowhere or or Time after Time.  I don't think it was the title track or Mama i'm coming home.  Again. Didn't die. Had no suicidal thoughts. Didn't want to hurt any animals or people. Maybe i was given a line of shit (we already know that answer) , So i got the No More Tears album (thank you columbia house!) and absolutley loved it. I then started going down his back catalog. The Ultimate Sin, Tribute, Bark at the moon. Diary of a madman and ofcourse Blizzard of Ozz and for the record, i did skip over Suicide Solution for the longest time because i didn't know what it was about and since thats where the issues started with him, i avoided it until i actually knew what it was about.  There was no internet at that point or it was still in its really infant stages so it wasn't like i could get a hold of the lyrics easily. I think he had done an interview about it because he was being taken to court (even though it was almost a decade later since its release) Once i found out it was like an epiphany.  This guy has been used for a scapegoat for anything bad that happens. It wasn't just a war on Ozzy, it was a war on heavy metal in particular.

The more i listened to ozzy the more i appreciated him. Like GNR, he had a soundtrack to my life. But they were like yin and yang. GNR, were songs about anger, depression ect... Ozzy on the other hand was about love and positivity. You can't deny it after listening to Crazy Train. Although i'm not gonna lie, The Ultimate Sin was a dark album just in general.

Then ofcourse after i really started getting into him he went into retirement #1. Grunge was taking over. Rock as we new it was changing. Then ozzy comes out of retirement and releases Ozzmosis.  The Zakk Wylde influence wasn't really there and i love Old LA Tonight and ofcourse Perry Mason.  A couple more albums followed. Then out come that mtv show The Osbournes.

Ozzy wasn't just a crazy musician. His home life was just as crazy too.  You could watch an episode of The Osbournes and be like thats MY family.

You couldn't help but love the man. What you got from Ozzy was genuine. You don't get that alot.  The fans loved him, and he loved us back. He was unapologetic about how much he loved the fans. He is literally the true definition of ICON.  There will NEVER be another Ozzy. To be honest with you, unless its Ozzy himself, i don't care to see whomever takes his place upon that throne.

He shaped my world with the legends, the lies about him, the shananigans. I am even sure there's even stories we don't even know about yet. Maybe never will..   The world of rock n roll owes him (and black sabbath) a major debt

Ozzy was more than his stage persona. He was the rare kind of human who held darkness in one hand and still managed to shine light with the other. And in a world that often feels cold, cruel, and absurd—we need more Ozzy’s. People who are unfiltered. People who are loud and honest and loving, even when the world doesn't know what to make of them.

He made us laugh. He made us cry.

None of us want to say goodbye.

Rest in peace Ozzy. Thank you for everything 

Well I needed some inspiration.

 My photography isn't normal.   Well let me rephrase that. If you're coming from my website (timmahgraphy.com) it looks quite normal.  Its what people want and how i make what little money i do so i can keep buying gear. I admit i am a gear head. I don't need everything out there but if there is a chance it will make my life a little bit easier in the long term i am all for it.  My personal projects, which never seem to get past the page however are completely off the way and perhaps a little zany. 

For whatever reason I draw my inspiration from song lyrics. Everything tells a story. I guess its because i was introduced to bands like Alice Cooper, King Diamond, Iron Maiden, and those theatrical bands at an early age.  Throw in, to a lesser degree Guns N Roses (remember the Trilogy?) , Slayer, Pearl Jam and even Marilyn Manson.  Yes I am a rocker. I admit it.  Now I listen to some really weird shit like Amigo the Devil, Bridge City Sinners and Harley Poe. Which really push the narratives in their songs.

This is the stuff I get inspired by. My brain goes into interpretation mode and i start seeing these stories play out in my head.

Take for instance the song The Cannibal Within by Amigo the Devil.  one set of lyrics goes

"In a major turn of events
it turns out that I'm depressed
They say i use jokes and joy to avoid the realization
But I can find solutions for that
just turn on the radio and cock it back
I just don't wanna blow my brains out to Hotel California"

So something like this my brain goes into analyzing mode.  What would this look like as a photo? 

well lemme tell ya

I can see someone sitting in a one room apartment, hotel or something along those lines. With an overhead light just sitting at a table with a huge wall calendar with comedy dates on it as if this guy might be a comedian (jokes and joy)

I also see a record player or cd player in the corner with The Eagles greatest hits or the actual Hotel California album sitting against it or on top of it with a weapon in his hand. maybe an ashtray with a lit cigarette for good measure

This would also be completely done in low contrast black and white.  

But this is a small sample how my brain looks for ideas.  And i have this ability to do this with alot of songs where i just break down the visual end of it and try to covert it into a visual form rather than a mental form.  It probably helps (me at least) i was also part of the Mtv generation when they actually played music.

Its a blessing and a curse.

Blessing because i can come up with these ideas. A curse because conceptual art isn't in high demand.

But things are looking good this summer. So who knows. maybe ill get to create some artistic stuff this summer because at the end of the day. thats what fulfils me.

We shall see.

Miserable weather (rant)

 April Showers bring May flowers.....

Yeah lets talk about that.  I have lived in Central NY all my life. As much as i have tried to get out, it turns to be "Hotel California" and I can't ever leave and every attempt has brought me back.  To quote Metallica, "Sad but True".

Doing photography without studio space you have to rely on the weather to work to your advantage. Add the fact that if photography isn't your main source of income (mine accounts for maybe 1/4th if that...thus why it hasn't gone full time) the weather plays a major role into your success. So the extra challenge is, since it isn't full time and I do have a full time the "good" weather also HAS to be on a day off from my full time job.  Which, where I am, is on the weekends... Yes folks I have "banker" hours.  One of the reasons why i took that full time job so i can actually do shoots on the weekends. 

Lately however, the weather has had other plans....

My area currently has had 27 (after this weekend 28) STRAIGHT weekends of either Snow or Rain. Supposedly the extended forecast (and yes i understand the weather changes) has rain for next weekend AND the following weekend... So 30 straight weekends

Where are the May flowers? My motorcycle hasn't even left the garage yet (i had it out by the end of April last year).   

I can deal with miserable weekends but when it starts affecting cash flow it becomes a problem.  I think I just have to accept that Central NY is the new Seattle. Maybe the sunshine will come after i leave the area again lol

Sigma BF:....An Opinion.

 I just want to start this off is this is an opinion piece. NOT a review of the camera itsself. I want to make that clear before I go any further with this.

Now with that said.

Sigma is a company that has been around for a long time.  They make 3rd party lenses for the major camera brands and have a few cameras out themselves. But they are mainly a third party lens company that has worked with brands such as Canon, Nikon, Sony. They may or may not have lenses for Panasonic.

Recently they have released a camera that has everybody talking. The mirrorless Sigma BF.  They say it made the camera for simplicity.

It is a full frame, 25mp camera with 250 gb memory (internal) with a price tag of $2,000

Right off the bat :

Full frame: Great!

25 mp: For most people this is enough unless your doing empire State building size prints (or if you are a heavy cropper)

250 gb internal memory, however, is where it starts to falter right off the bat.   I am NOT a fan of internal memory (on anything). Just like i am not overly a huge fan of cloud media (storage, movies, music, important documents) While they have their purpose i will always want a physical version of some sort. Internal Memory while different i view in the same light. Being that it doesn't have SD/CF cards or anything like that my biggest concern (and should be with anyone) what happens if the camera breaks.  Well, you have internal memory. Most devices with internal memory would at least need the camera to turn on. Well if the camera suddenly goes kaput, you are SOL. At least with a sd/cf card slot the photos and videos would go to the card and you could pull the card out. YES, there is an opportunity for the card to be corrupted. BUT if its a good quality card 8/10 times you won't have to worry about it as much. I don't know what the reasoning was to not include a slot. I assume it was to keep things compact, it was not, however to keep costs down.

As you can tell from the photo ( both photos taken from Sigma.com) It does have a nice slim look to it and like Sigma said themselves they went for the simplistic approach to this. But again, for someone like me, it doesn't look like it would be something comfortable to hold for hours at a time . No reader display either.  It does have picture review on it

As you can tell its very simple and clean even with the button layout.   But it reminds me of the old Cybershot/ Kodak cameras when digital cameras were just coming out into the mainstream. So if anything, professional photographers were not the target audience for this.  Its more/less take a trip to the zoo or beach or prom type camera you would throw in your pocket with the right lens attached,  Aka, a tourist camera. But with that assumption it goes with the next problem.

The price.

The retail price of this camera is just about $2,000.  Now take a trip in my mind set on this before ya'll tear my head off.

for 2k I could get a Canon R6 and a lens and if i wanted to spend another couple hundred more i could get get the R6 Mark 2. Which is considered one of the best hybrid cameras out currently. Its a bit heftier, i could be comfortable holding it for long periods of time and it the SAME MP with MORE features built in. Again i do professional work on occasion so it would make sense but someone getting into photography, wouldn't they want something to grow into?

If professional photographers isn't the aim. it brings me to the casual photographer.  

I personally don't believe casual photographers will want to spend 2 grand on a camera they may pull out a few times a year. I could be wrong but I legit most would agree.  Especially when I can pull out my camera phone and get photos just as easily and a decent phone is around 1k and zooms are getting better all time on the phones.  Is the casual photographer the target audience then?

I have not seen photos from this camera also being i am not an influencer or any sort i probably won't ever have this camera (at this price point) which means i am purely going off assumptions and speculations. It is almost like Sigma fixed a problem that didn't exist. I would definitely be in on it if it was under 1k since i like my tech anyways. i just feel that for what it offers, what its trying to do and with the price that it is, that it doesn't even know what its identity is or who it is trying to appeal to.

What do you guys think?

Another Year in the books

 This year was probably the most difficult year finding subject matter for my photography.  

As everybody knows this isn't my primary job.  Too much competition in the area and i have, i guess you can say, a semi chaotic style which is an aquired taste.

I left my main job in May (thinking i was going to be ready to go to work in june....which ended up being in sepetember) , ended up with covid not once but twice in a 3 month span and trying to find new subject matter in my immediate area.

Im definitely not complaining because i knew what i was getting into 20+ years ago.  Downside is, which i didn't count on then, is camera phones taking over.  

Granted, cell phone cameras are good to have for that "spur of the moment" . I won't knock them. But do we really need 50 mp cameras on our phones?  Pretty soon Wedding photographers will be extinct,  Need a HS senior photo? just pull out your phone. We're trading experience for convenience .

This isn't a post to whine. I just want to point to things that people forget to realize. Especially those who are just getting into this

Shoot for fun. Thats how i started.  If you make money with it thats great but don't think that its going to be easy to take into a full time paying gig. After I made a few hundred bucks i thought i could. But its a who you know field.  Its all about marketing and who ya know. And if theres already established photographers in your area. good luck and try to find your niche.  For me slowly getting into street photography. I will take the ART over a payday any day of the week, BUT on the flipside it would be nice to make more income with it so i can keep buying the new lenses. being I shoot Canon and imo their L lenses can't be beat,  i can easily look at 2k+ for each lens.  Keep in mind all my lenses ARE L lenses so you can imagine the investment that was made. Money has to come from somewhere.

Basically make sure you know what you're getting into when you go down this path. Its addicting.

Im thinking '25 will be a much better year professionally. Setting up some projects months into advance. I don't know if anyone will come out of it BUT at the same time, ill be doing something i enjoy (thats the important thing!)

So after a turbulant '24 to say the least. Here is wishing EVERYONE a happy and safe and healthy new year. and if it looks good SHOOT it.

--Timmah

Pixel Tablet Review

I am not one for reviews. But being that this is a Google product and it takes PHOTOS I think it was warranted.

Now for the record this is not a laptop. Not even close.  Its a tablet/home device.  Think Amazons Echo Show that could be your home control device and if you need to leave the room it automatically becomes a tablet.  I dont't honestly know if there is anything close to this on the market right now.  Tablets aren't exactly the in thing right now and if anybody knows me well enough, I like to streamline as much as possible while being efficient as possible.

That's where this comes in.  I don't plan on doing heavy duty photo editing on this.  For a few reasons. When I edit I want to use a bigger screen. I am not a pixel peeper BUT at the same time more screen makes for better editing.  Now if I REALLY need to do any photo editing on this, It might come in handy if I am looking to do contrasts, brightness. AKA basic editing. Which probably would be taken with my phone and not my Canon R6M2! That's what my MacBook will be used for.

I also frequent coffee shops and the such to read my newspaper and read an ebook. Would I want to hull my HEAVY MacBook for that?  Probably not.

I also am not a heavy mobile gamer, So specs really don't impact me. There is a OnePlus Tablet that looked excellent within the same price range But it was overkill. Good overkill but overkill none the less as it was focused more on productivity.

Now a few things to note.

I picked this up on sale for under $400 for a 128 storage. A 256 was available for roughly 100 more.   The 128 runs normally 500 and the 256 runs slightly over 600 normally.  The One Plus was 549 at last check but after keyboard and case it would have been over 700.  My current set up cost me 519 after tax. That's for a Targus folding Keyboard and a folio case which is supposed to be "military grade" against drops but that's questionable to say the least.  It also supports a stylus if I ever decide I need one. The Samsung 9 FE does not support a stylus and that is 100 more but it is a bigger screen (12) compared to the pixel (11)

The big differences FOR ME are out of the way.

Like I said this is like an Echo Show/Tablet Hybrid. It comes with a charging speaker (cant buy the tablet without it, which I am not sure I exactly agree with).  The sound on the speaker isn't bad. I don't plan on blasting it. The volume that it was set at I don't think I have to adjust it. Unless ofcourse, I go hard of hearing soon.

The screen is bright.  Being it is from Google, there is access to the play store. Which was a selling point for me as I already have a pixel phone so I can flip between the two as need be.

A couple reviews said there was delays going from app to app.  I personally haven't noticed it.  But the reviews didn't mention what apps were being used either. But flipping between my social media and some browsing it seemed snappy and intuitive.  

One word of note is it only charges to 90% by default   this is to make the tablet last longer (since chances are you are going to have it sitting on the speaker quite a bit which is the charger)   it can be changed in the settings.  I forsee power users only having any real issues with this feature.

Video plays fine.  Netflix, Tubi run great .

This tablet at 399 I feel is a bargain. I MIGHT have been more conflicted if it was the same price as the samsung and OnePlus. At it's current price point I could definitely (and easily) suggest this if you're a light user on the productivity end, like your entertainment and want an echo show that's not an echo show.  It's even easier to suggest if you have a pixel phone.

It ships with Android 13, but at time of this writing android 14 is out and it fixes some of the apps with full screen mode. Which seemed to be of concern as well to some

Ebook reading is good.  Some don't like the ratio perspective on it.  I haven't seen if android 14 addresses this to any degree yet but things (I thought) looked fine in kindle.

Over all it's solid piece of hardware.

4.5/5

Targus keyboard

4/5. (Would have been higher if pairing was better)

Folio case. 2/5 . I'm def not impressed by it but I sadly needed something right then since I do travel and some protection is better than none at all.

Same Blog...New Subject Matter

Like the human race (most of at least), I am constantly evolving.  This Blog usually represents what stage of thought I am currently in.

Scattered Brain? Sure

ADD sometimes? Definitley

Its just how I roll.

I have always had an interest in photography.   I do it part time to make some $$ on the side. But the focus for me has always been on the art of it. This is why I shoot everything except weddings.  I never have played well with taking orders. I am too independent to do something like that. So i tend to focus on people who will let me have the creative freedom that I need to do what I think will work well given the situation.  

I refer to myself as a creative tornado.  Sometimes self destructive. But most of the time bringing in new ideas and perspectives most would never even consider.

Good times.

So lets get this new era on the road. and if you came here through timmahgraphy.com thanks for checking the site out. If you haven't, take a look around. Excuse the dust however, It is still being worked on!

Short, sweet and right to the point.  Nice way to kick things off!